Buffy meets Bush by Matt Giwer, © 2002 [October]
President Bush: I am happy to have you visit the White House, Miss Summers. Buffy Summers: You can call my Buffy. Bush: Thank you, Buffy. I have been watching you save the world in Sunndale ... vale ... Sunnyvale ... I thank ... think. Buffy: Sunnyvale, George. Now listen to me. You are right. You are dealing with pure evil. Bush: I know that, Buffy. That is why I am sending in the military. Buffy: Listen to me, George. Saddam is not some plaything for your election prospects. Saddam really is evil. It is my job. You have know idea what evil is. Bush: With God's help ... Buffy: Listen to me, boy. I know what evil is and how to deal with it. You don't know jack about evil even if you think you learned from the bottle and snorting coke. Bush: I was redeemed by Jesus Christ for this mission ... Buffy: I said listen! All you know is how to do grab oil and pander to crowds. I have faced evil and died protecting this world. All you have is a fake National Guard record. I am a chosen one. You are an alcoholic. Get that through your head right now. You aren't sane unless you are drunk. Bush: You can't talk to me like that. Guards! Buffy: Call your guards. I will leave without giving you my autograph. Bush: Cancel the guards! Buffy: That's better. If you start this war you will become evil. If you think your guards can protect you, you don't know what a Slayer is. I want your word on this. You will not send in the military. Bush: You have my word. Cross my heart and hope to die. Buffy: If you do you will. But if you are not dealing with evil and only dealing for oil I will find out. And then I will be coming for you. Bush: [wets pants]
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